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Jan 2, 2012

Anxiety

Jan 3, '10 2:12 PM
for Dominique's friends
The thought of next week scares the hell out of me! Highest dose? Worst effect? What could be worst than last last week? Says it'll need longer time to recover. Will have to stay on that room for, what? Plus one more week? Then transported back to my home, like the CIA transports a criminal, and be locked at my room with the TV & internet. Then I'd be losing stuffs in my head, literally & figuratively. And things will become uglier. Then I'll wish I never had it, or wish I just die. But those wishes are useless because I have it and I will not die yet. Thinking of it makes me sick! Well I am sick...but the treatment's making me sick. I wanna fight but at the same time I just want to be normal. And fighting will not make me normal.

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